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    一个人的好天气

    回家已经好几天,一直很懒不写东西不上网。我最近沉迷于电影而且毫无顾忌的。我觉得,应该把生命浪费得更有意义一些。
    在很大程度上,我是有隐隐的负罪感的。
    原因在于,好像就没有感觉到时间的存在一样。我忽略他人和自己。我不打电话不开手机。我急切的想脱离真实。
    我是不是一个太自我的人,每句话前面都必须说我。我觉得,就是很自我以及自负。或许是自卑。
    selfish不是我,其实我在损害他人利益的时候,也在损害自己的利益。所以,不是我。
     
    回家的第二天,家里下雪了,很大的鹅毛大雪,而且持续了很长时间,我很兴奋。
    今天出去的时候,地上残留着前一晚的积雪化成的雪水,浑浊,冰冷,湿滑。这丝毫不像是个好天气。
    我好像是个间歇性悲观主义者,偶尔会看不到一丝美好的东西。
    当然,如果在文章里,我就是彻底的悲观主义者,因为我从来不写美好的东西。
    我总是认为这里就是发泄不满怨愤狂躁愤怒而没有人会猜测你的想法你的思维你的性格你的爱好的地方。
    所以,我总是一直写一直写,我有强迫症。我必须数到3之后,才会发送消息,数到13之后,再去厕所。
     
    我在一本书的封面上看到一句话,是这样说的
    在我们的希望和愿欲的深处,隐藏着对于青春的默识。如同种子在雪下静静梦想。所以你要知道,我将在更大的沉默中归来。

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