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    后来生活就是郁郁寡欢

    我想起了2003年,那些年我情绪一直不太好,也不是因为接触的东西让自己敏感的神经更加敏感,只是好像到了那样的时期,一定要有那样的事情发生,只是后来这些年,随着时间的又增长,跟先前有了很大的区别,说不上是好是坏,要想回到小时候的天真几乎是不太可能了。
     
    后来我分析自己长大后变得如此郁郁寡欢的根本原因在于小时候的活泼可爱并没有给我带来任何的好处,事实证明,活泼可爱并不能为自己赢得好评,更多的时候,活泼可爱给自己带来的麻烦是,别人不再注重你的感受——反正她是阳光派,不必在意很多应该给予的关注和关怀。于是我从耿耿于怀中彻底厌倦了自己的个性。又没有一个健康的导向,于是后面就发展成现在这样子。
     
    具体的说,我真的是一个很没有性格的人,也没想法。之所以每天聒噪的要命或许就是为了掩盖实际上的空虚。后来我又发现,大家都是有修养的人,有太多需要我去学习和思考的地方。有的时候不需要声辩什么,只是一种方式而已。每个人都有表达自己的方式。
    生活太滋润了,不知道怎么着才好。娟娟说的。
     
    一晚上没有去自习,浮躁得很,疲劳或者是厌倦。生活的轨迹,或许是太过于熟悉了,连闭着眼睛走下去,都太嫌疲劳。
    校内网上一群被微观经济学折腾的几近崩溃的人们。
    我想回家,我不想去实习。
     
     

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